UX's greatest or worst drunk moments! :drunken:

BAXTABEAST22 wrote:I was high from taking too many pain killers one time and i suicide bombed in an apocalypse roleplay game once

PILL POPPER!

Kill it with fire.

On a hot May weekend, I was hungering for something to do. It was one of those shitty weeks. You know, when you have an ignorant teacher yelling at you, several appointments to attend, and for some reason, the planets align themselves ever so fucking slightly that you are given a years worth of assignments, that are to be completed in one weekend. One fucking weekend. I was pissed and needed something. Anything.

Now I normally never drink much. A shot here and a shot there at a party is all that it really takes for me to be satisfied for a good month to half years worth. Nothing to get me sick, just enough to enjoy and let go. However, that ideology went out the fucking window in a matter of a few impulse decisions.

From the moment I opened my bedroom door, I saw my overstuffed backpack, precariously staring at me as if to taunt me. "Good luck with the 14 hours worth of homework!" it would jeer to me almost constantly. Then, walking down the stairs, I shrug off the abuse and think of the day's plan. I would grab something to eat, surf for a little bit, than hangout with a few of my friend and possibly smoke. I grinned thinking about the day and ignored every interference. I mean, that was until my mom broke my attention. I didn't mean to snap but, I did. That caused issues. To shorten this up, I was left with basically no time to do much of anything. In anger and in need of comfort, I waited for my parents to leave before pouring myself a shot. It was a cocktail of various different types and brews. It smelt like ass and tasted like someone dragged a sharpie over their ass and shit themselves to add flavor.

I meander around my house as though I am taking an exotic tour. Picture of family members and odd nautical references all look disturbingly foreign, beige walls entrapped me forcing me to take my "fishbowl" view else where. I stubble into my room at around 9 or 10 PM. My parents are dead asleep. Like ambien induced comma, asleep. I notice my best friend and my brother playing zombies with precarious amounts of red solo cups scattered around the tv set. After a few moments, I spot something else. Half into this out cove where my tv is placed, was a plastic bottle being at least close to a liter. The cap was a poorly colored gold and the label was equivalent to tape with words written on it. Finally, I read the label out loud as I approached it. "Travelers Vodka" with a $10.99 "SALE!" sticker towards the top.

When I asked what was going on, the two looked at me and sort of giggled. "We are playing this dumb game Harrison made up." My brother stated. "It is called 'zombie shots'." He proceeded to explain the rules. "If you are downed, take a shot; If it has been 5 rounds since your last shot, take a shot; If..." the rules went on but you get the point that, you are going to get drunk very quickly. Especially, if you play like we do.

After about 15 minutes and 15 shots later, I couldn't stand without help. We didn't have any shot glasses, so we just use solo cups and judged it as we went on. However, in the dark and drunk, I guess you pour a lot more than a few spits worth. By this point, my mind goes blank. I remember puking in the toilet, than my brother and best friend pushed me out of the way to do the same. Things were not going well.

When I woke up, I have this pit fall feeling in my stomach. My head hurts and something smelt awful. I assumed it was the vomit which I found between my toes only a few feet from our guest bed room. I found a few stained towels on the ground and the smell got worse walking towards the bathroom. Everything felt like a tense movie walking around up stairs. I didn't know what, or even who, I was going to find next. Finally, I walk down stairs to unfortunately find my parents home and awake.

After a few moments of investigating and trying to cover things up, my mom finds, what looks to be, half digested carrots and beans in her flower pot on the deck, a horrid brown vomit stain on the ground, and a putrid smell filling the whole house. I try to play it cool and act like I have no idea what happened. I walk into the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead by taking a shower. And there it was... An image that will haunt me forever...

What stared at me was a fully coiled at least twice, steaming hot, smooth rope of pure and udder shit. It was thicker than a baby's arm and smelt even worse than a baby's ass. I couldn't fucking believe it. I drop down to my knees for a moment in awe of what I was witnessing. I am not even kidding, I considered praying to it. It was so perfect, so pristine, so immense in beauty. However, all good things must come to an end. Reality struck me and I realized how fucked we all were.

After the confession to my parents, they woke my brother and best friend sleeping in the other room. Their slumber was interrupted by my mom's fierce out cry. "WHO SHIT IN THE TUB?!" No one took the blame. No one could really remember. No one could even think of a good fucking reason or theory as to why someone would.

So we all spent the day cleaning the house till every hidden splatter of vomit was cleaned. Sadly for me, I was the poor S.o.B that was given the task to actually remove the shit. After some good Mac Giver work with a plastic trash bag and a rubber band, the package was sealed and dumped into the toilet. Or at least, most of it. Despite my great job of avoiding to actually touch the shit, I didn't account for anything to go wrong. Except maybe a wire hanger catching the bag and pouring its contents on the to bathroom tile.

After 3 hours of scrubbing and 6 cans of Comet, the job was done. However, as though being extremely hungover and cleaning up shit wasn't bad enough, I was forced to go on a 7 hour boat ride with nothing for lunch but tuna salad and whatever some sketch ball at the dock caught.

That memory of blacking out and waking to that will always echo every time I even smell alcohol.


TL;D FUCKING R?

Got drunk;blacked out;woke up to shit in my bathtub

That...good sir.....IS AN AMAZING STORY COMRADE

I laughed several times during that FattyBoy, great story, lawl.

WHO SHIT IN THE TUB?!?

I almost pissed myself laughing XD

Bump

Lets keep this topic going guys. Dont let it die

Tophat 44 wrote:Bump

Lets keep this topic going guys. Dont let it die

............

*facepalm*

eaustinn36 wrote:

Tophat 44 wrote:Bump

Lets keep this topic going guys. Dont let it die

............

*facepalm*

That'll be enough from you, Buzz Killington.

ABigSoggy Wafle wrote: It was a cocktail of various different types and brews. It smelt like ass and tasted like someone dragged a sharpie over their ass and shit themselves to add flavor.

My one concern is that how do you know what this would taste like?

I hope you're being sarcastic....

I guess ill contribute again.

It was new years eve and my buddy's parents were gone for the night at some party in like long island which is 2 hours away from here. So taking the opportunity me and about 6 other people decided to have some fun at his house. We baught 2 cases of beer, 1 1 litter vodka bottle, 1 2 litter, a bottle of Jack Daniels,(which of course i didn't touch because of previous experiences) and a bottle of champange for 12 o'clock .We started at like 10 to get pretty much drunk before 12 and all i can remember was taking shot after shot and chasing it with beer. I ended up drinking like 10 shots and 3 or 4 beers and i was relatively ok. Just about where i wanted to be, more than tipsy but i basically not drunk. Then at some point someone called another 2 kids to come at like 11 and one of them brought weed. Ive never done both at the same time so i figured, why not lets see how itll feel. Worst mistake ever. After about 4 hits i could no longer stand straight. i had to keep my hand on the wall to not fall and even then i felt like i was in a helicopter spinning or something, looking around i could see about 3 other people doing the same. So i decided to lay down on the couch and wait for midnight. When it came no one could find the channel for the ball drop because they were too fucked up so we watched snookie drop in a ball in a MTV studio. I was so pissed you dont even know, and i dont know why i was pissed. I remember barely being able to even keep myself on the couch. It was as if the whole fucking room was tipped like sideways. And suddenly around 1 am, and i have no clue how an hour passed so quickly because it felt like 5 minutes, i sat up and said i was going to puke. I didnt feel bad, i didnt even feel like i had to puke but i got up and puked literally all over the entirely bathroom. Apparently the "helicopter" didnt stop while i was throwing up. Next thing i know im walking home with puke all over my jacket. I got home threw the jacket and all my clothes in the laundry and went to sleep. I woke up feeling good as new. xD

Alright this happened to me a week and a half ago

My Aunt and Uncle bought a really nice house with a pool so they threw a big house warming party. Everything starts off as usual and people are swimming and just chillin out. I was hanging out with the part of my family thats all like 24 years old. So we're just drinking beer, relaxing, and having a good time. All of a sudden I get thrown in the pool.

I wake up the next day feeling like shit, my clothes are all wet, i can't get out of bed, and when I finally do I puke my guts out. Wtf happened last night? I only drank about 8 beers....
As I laid in bed I remembered a few things. I know it was late and everyone was still at the party, I was swimming, I got somebody mad, and I rode home in the back of a truck bed with 1 of my uncles.

As the week passed I talked to different people and found out more about what happened. I was swimming with all my clothes on including my shoes, watch and earing, I finished a bottle with my cousins, I was dancing to music, which I never do and apparently I was good at it, I asked 1 of my cousins where I was at so she told me Vegas and I believed her, I took shots with people I didnt know were there, and I pissed of my uncle but I still don't know what I did.

Long story short, party was much much bigger than I remember

2 funny all a yall. the only time i had anything was with me Seanmháthair and 2 older brothers. we were pretty young then, i was if i remember correctly only 7 and my oldest brother was 11. knowing her she most likely gave us the real deal, but i remember thinking that i just drank something exotic but just had a neutral feeling of it. so, interesting but not really a story.