Desmond Waters

Prologue.

My name is Desmond Waters. I am one of the rapidly decreasing survivors in Liberty City. we all share the same goal, to live, to survive this zombie overun. it started a few weeks ago. news stations warned of a terrorist attack. new haven was bombed. a virus spread across America in a matter of 3 days. i met a group of survivors after 6 days of travel. we all made good friends. we share secrets and stories, the only thing i didn't share was the bite mark cover by my sleeve. i seem to be partialy immune to the virus how ever. i am mutating very slowly. when others would loose control in a few hours i still havent shown any weird signs in 3 days. ive seemed to have gained more speed and strength scince i was bitten. whatever is changing in me seem to be for the better, but i don't know how long i will be able to stay human, for all i know, i could completely mutate tommorow......

Not bad... but not great... Little annoying spelling things annoy me but I like where its heading... Keep up the story just spell check it and give a vage yet descriptive scene...tell them what they need to know but leave room for them to build the character in their mind... your not painting the whole canvas just give them a background and let them act it out... Let the reader be the character. Put the reader in the story. Let them feel and breath the character does... Find the perfect equalibrium between vage and discriptive and then you will create the perfect story....
Just some words of adivice

thanks for the advice, this was only a prologue and is still in the making

Krayden7 wrote:thanks for the advice, this was only a prologue and is still in the making

Anytime... Sorry for the mass spam... :/ Computer is kind of gay... *talks to computer* IMA BEAT YOU IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN!!!

Not bad, i hope that there is a lot more to come. maybe a little twist here or there 'cough' HINT 'cough"