My Life In Liberty City

My life had gone down the tubes. I lived in Indiana, I felt that I needed a change of pace so I moved to Liberty City, I had lived there three months. I had tried to join the local police force. I kinda got revoked because I wasted all My time at the gun range. So... I joined the gun club. It was fun, except that the president was a total psychopath. I had no good life ahead of me.I was leaving the gun club meeting and had saw a man in an alley. I screamed, HEY!" He said nothing.I pulled my gun and screamed again. He ran at me i shot him in the chest. He didn't flinch! I shot again and nothing happened he just kept running. I took 3 last shots into the head. He finally dropped. He smelled awful, like he was already dead for a week. I saw another and another run toward me. So I got into my car and sped off

Part 2: Coming Soon

Cool, I just don't understand why you would find somebody standing in the alley strange, then pull a gun on them....

-shrug-

have you ever seen a man standing in an alley cry, its a very frightening site.

sounds pretty Ok. not meaning to be a mean critic or jerky english teacher but. like they said it sounds a little odd how you pull a gun on a man in an alley. and I might of been the only one to notice it but you used a whole lot of I's and He's. so too much first person talk. maybe just try to fix these and it should be average

Why pull a gun on a guy in an alley?

Why not in the middle of a busy street?

How can a man stand unresponsive in an ally...and why would he want to....

They had kept running and running I looked behind me, the dumbest mistake. I crashed into a wall. It was dark, "Was I dead?" I thought. "when i came to I saw my car was surrounded by the weird people. They had blood dripping from their mouths, their bodies were wounded and gross. I'm fucking dead.

Keep your story in one thread, please. Otherwise this whole section will be full of your threads. And if you're gonna make a sotry, atleast put some effort to it. 3 rows of text a chapter is not a real story.

Jesus Man that was negative but yeah ill do that

Merged both topics.

-Master

I cannot play ZOMBIE MODE....I had an invite from deadape but said full instantly i would love to be apart of this....how long does this go though the night..? sorry for off topic post.

I saw a bright light, I'm sure it was death. The image cleared to show that it was a man shining a flashlight in my eyes. I could barely hear what they were saying the only things I could seriously make out were: "Do you think he was bitten?" and "Should we kill him now to make sure?" I could make out that one of the people was a woman. I saw my gun on a desk to my right and reached for it. Unfortunately the tranquilizer was incredibly strong and I could barely move. I fell back asleep. I woke up at what I assumed was about three hours to the doctor and the other woman. I had stumbled to my feet and walked toward a mirror. I looked at my body. There was a large bloody bandage covering up most of my left arm. The doctor came up to me and said, "Thank God you're alive, now tell me were you bitten?"
"What? By Who?"
"The Zombies of course."
Oh My Fucking God...Zombies.

I couldn't believe it, my family, my friends, gone. I grabbed my Glock and went outside. The death, the train derailed. I saw a harley and drove off, luckily the keys were in there. I went to the old gun shop. So, I grabbed a double barrel and sawed off the end. I got back on the bike and drove into the street. I noticed one of the zombies beside me. I grabbed the sawed off and blew its head to chunks. I drove off to find out if any of my friends and family were alive. I drove to the strip-club, my cousin used to work there. I grabbed my shotgun and went inside. I walked cautiously inside. The place was empty, the emptiest I've ever seen. Ha. I went into the management room and saw one of the strippers eating the guts out of my cousin, I gagged but my body wouldnt let me puke. I aimed, I fired, but this place wasn't as empty as I thought. On the moniter I saw that the place was getting filled with zombies. One burst into the room. It tackled me to the ground, I wrestled with it, and it was reaching in to take a chomp out of my skull. I remembered the knife I hid in my shoe. I grabbed it and plunged into the zombies skull. I looked at the moniter and saw that the zombies were heading toward the moniter room. The door burst open and several men came in and shot down the zombies.

The man who looked like the leader came in and said, " What are you doing here?"
"Well I was checking on my cousin."
"Who do you think you are? Niko Bellic?"
"What?"
"Nevermind, you can call me... DeadApe."

Alright, alright, I am not going to be absolute prick, but you need to work on as to what happens. At one point he is on his death bed in a hospital and in another he is on a Harley breaking into gun stores. Tell us how is getting from point A to point B doesn't really count as a story. Be more descriptive, read a passage from "Z-day" that should inspire you a bit.

I closed my eyes, and took a drink of the coffee that DeadApe and his crew gave me at their safehouse. He told me," What brings you to the apocalypse?"
"Well I don't exactly have anything left. How did this even happen?"
" Damn Scientist tried to create a serum to bring people back from the dead."
"Wow. So What exactly do you do?"
"Well, We search for survivors."
"Got that."
"Wait. Weren't you the guy who ran off from our medical center this morning."
"Uh Yeah"
"Shouldn't have done that."
Wel- There was a bang on the door. "Here take this." He handed me an AK. "Aim for the head."

The zombies came in and dashed toward us, I aimed up the sights and fired. They just kept coming. They ran in by the dozens. They bit down two survivors and another man was bitten. The last had finally come in and got mowed down. The bitten man started to freak out and was screaming and jerking. He was starting to turn, his hair fell out, skin was getting pale, his teeth became sharper. DeadApe grabbed a pistol and shot between the eyes.

DeadApe stood up on a chair and said, "We're not safe here, we have to make to the airport. Kyle, you go with Meatshield and Me. There are cars outside we can take them. Let's move out."

Part 6: Coming Soon