The Worlds Falling Apart- Story

It happened so fast, so quickly, even the governments couldn't react fast enough. Towns and cities were quarantined, blockcades put up. Army patrols every now and then would come by, searching for survivors.

At the beginning, everything seemed normal, like the government could handle it. But that was proved not true. The virus spreaded so fast throughout the world that over half the worlds population was infected in just under 1 week.

The television broadcasts stopped airing after 2 weeks the infection hit. Those that were still living had to survive on themselves. Seeking refuge was hard because everywhere you went, these things would show up. You had to live off canned food and drinks, nothing special because it would waste time. Weapons were the most important, they were what protected you from "zombies" and they made you feel more safe.

The roads...were littered with bodies, tons and tons of bodies. Some bodies were those of the "zombies" and some were those of the survivors who couldn't take any more of the bloodshed, the constant thought of death and the things that were trying to feed on them.

I thought there was no hope left in this world because everywhere you went, everyone you met who weren't one of those blood-thirsty things would say "The Worlds Falling Apart".

But hope shone 6 months after infection hit. The government sent all available personel to do a clean sweep of the city. They did their job because all the zombies were killed and human life was restored.

Well they thought they had killed all the zombies but they were wrong.

(ZOMBIE SOUND: BRAINNZZZZZZ)


I know its not the best story but i tried.

In my opinion up until where you said "6 months later the army came and killed all of the zombies" it was really good. Everything before that was pretty detailed and if you left it could have gone on to more episodes.

I agree with Blither, though its still pretty good and I encourage you to continue!

KissMeArs wrote:
But hope shone 6 months after infection hit. The government sent all available personel to do a clean sweep of the city. They did their job because all the zombies were killed and human life was restored.

Liked it till there. 6 months after an infection most of civilization will be in shambles with most (if not all) army and govenments gone. Only small survivor groups will be left. People will fight to survive, not for others to survive.

Not that bad. I love your point of view and the way it was described. I didn't like how you tied in the title though. I mean I would have figuried it would have been like this "Just days before "Z-Day", as the called it on the news, a hobo holding up a piece of soggy cardboard with fat slashing of black letters written on the front. Those words read 'the worlds falling apart.' Dissregarded by most, those words are now branned into hippocampus of my brain. 'The worlds falling apart, The worlds falling apart, The worlds falling apart' chants in my brain day in and day out. My mind clouded with exusses on why I ignored it. 'I have to many other things to think about', no that's not true. I live alone and work night shifts giving me nearly 12 hours of lesiure." Something like that not only gives a better image of your character your protraying but also explains the name of the title.
As for the ending, I am very dissiapointed. You do have great potential but you just seemed lazy at the end and just gave up. Add some feeling into it. Here I will try to give an example "The infection had taken a massive toll on New York. A toll no one was ready to pay. Hundreds of thousands of lives lost from a virus that was thought to just be the flu. Fire ravaged through the city giving an orange glow seen through out the city. Still shadows casscaded down the vacent streets untill one day... The humming of trucks suddenly grew louder then were muffled by the sound gun shots. The once vacant and burning New York was alive again. Surviors poured in by the hundreds towards military check points. Men in hazmat suites walk up and down the streets, shooting this odd cloud of smoke. This smoke, made out of barium and phosphate, created an eirre fog. An errie fog that created only sillouetts. Sillouetts that fell after a short dose of the fog. 'Z-day is finally over!' announced the shaken reporter. 'Z-day is over, Z-day is over', lies lies LIES LIES! They will all fall victim to the tight, grip of death once again! I know this because... I, once a survivor, know have been bitten. The 'worlds falling apart' and I nor anyone else can stop it."
Something like that describes pretty well the situation as well as give some more insite on the character. I think this should be a prolouge if anything. I have to say though you did a pretty good job. Hope I helped!

It seems like you got lazy toward the ending saying, "the military came in and killed them all."

You need to keep up the detail. Maybe you can work on it and then post it again with more detail. That would be awesome!

Yeah, I'm going to jump on the wagon here aswell and say the ending lacked emotion and it's like one of those 'and it was all a dream' endings. The rest of the story was bloody good though.